Despicable
by Fox Xanatos
Summary: Sesshomaru remembers why he hates humans and how he learned to love again


Hi guys! This is my first Inuyasha fic. I have always thought that Sesshomaru hated humans for different reason. Anyway this is my opinion, please review and no flames. :: ONE SHOT::  
  
Despicable  
  
Sesshomaru's POV  
  
I had started my journey alone, I had never had anyone to talk to or share. My life was an endless mess. Ever since I had been kicked out of my castle I have been wandering around my lands, looking, searching, hoping I could find some reason to my existence.  
  
One day I came upon a woman who had injured her ankle. I knew little of humans at that time and thought that I could learn more by spending time with them. The first thing I learned was trust, the woman I had found was a miko that had extrodonairy powers. But she had little trust for demons. She was the protector of a sacred jewel called the Shikon No Tama.  
  
I brought her to the village that she lived in and left, but not for good. Day by day I would watch her every move. I knew she knew that I was there, but she seemed to acknowledge my presence.  
  
Soon enough we were talking from a far distance, she still didn't trust me. She wouldn't even give me her name when I demanded to know. A human had said no to Lord Sesshomaru Lord of the Western Lands, but still I stayed.  
  
Then about 2 month of communication she was attacked by a Neko Youkai, she had forgotten her sacred arrows which were her only source of protection. Before I knew it I had beheaded the monster. I don't know why I did it, but I did. That was when I learned about the poison in my claws.  
  
The miko was very shaken up when I went to confront her. She didn't know what happened and was scared. Then I felt a small amount of pressure on my body, looking down I saw the miko attached to my waist and crying into my chest. I don't know what came over me, but I returned the embrace. That was the first time I had ever experienced emotion.  
  
After she had calmed down I finally asked her again.  
  
"Please tell me your name priestess?"  
  
"M.my name is K.Kikyo" she replied shakily  
  
"Kikyo" the name rolled off my tongue. I smirked enjoying the way it felt to have someone in my arms.  
  
After that incident she made me promise to never tell the villagers what had happened. She said if anyone where to find out they could take the jewel and do horrible things with it. I complied on a condition, I was aloud to visit her when ever I wanted. And that was how things went for a month.  
  
During that month however I began to have feeling that I did not understand. It agitated me to no end and I had to do something about. There was an old wise miko that was at the other end off my domain. I went to go see her and tell her how I felt.  
  
When I got to her hut I wrinkled my nose in disgust. The place smelled horrible. I could smell almost every kind of herb and potion she had in there.  
  
"Can I help you young man?"  
  
I turned around and saw an old lady around the age of eighty.  
  
"Yes you can I have been feeling very strange lately and I don't know what it is, I was hoping you would know."  
  
"Then tell me already" she snapped  
  
If I didn't have self control I would have snapped her neck, but then I couldn't get my answers so I replied smoothly "I have been hanging around a woman lately and every time I see her I get a fluttery feeling in the pit of my stomach, my heart seems to speed up, and I stammer when she talks to me."  
  
"Your case is very simple.your in love."  
  
"Love" "Yes you have great feeling for this person."  
  
I stood up and handed the woman a small pouch of money.  
  
"You have helped me a lot. Take this as gratitude of my thanks."  
  
I left and would never return to this day. When I returned to the village I was attacked by the children. They had grown fond of me and wished to play with me all the time. I would comply and I learned also that there were different kinds of love. I loved the children in a brother, sister way, but I loved Kikyo as a mate.  
  
A week went by and my feeling grew. I taught Kikyo better aim with her arrow and she taught me how to cook. I knew that we were meant for each other.  
  
Then one day I was going to confess my love for her. I knew this place were the richest flowers were; when I got there I searched and searched to find the perfect flower. I found it, it was an aqua blue color with violet streaks, and it was shaped like a rose when it was in bloom. I picked two of them.  
  
When I got to the village I saw her on the dock in no more than my baka hanyou half brother arms. I felt all these new emotions pass through me betrayal, sadness, hate, denial, and broken hearted.  
  
I threw the two flowers into the water and fled, as I fled I felt something warm and wet flowing down my face. I was crying for my first time. Ever since that day I never cried again, it was a weakness that could not be showed. I soon grew cold and never cared for anything.  
  
50 years have gone by I still don't care for anything.except my love Rin. She is like a daughter to me, and one day I hope even more. I do not care about Kikyo I am over her. All I want is Rin.  
  
"Sesshomaru-sama!"  
  
My thoughts are disrupted by the call of my little one.  
  
"Sesshomaru-sama Jaken is teasing me again!"  
  
"I am not you human!"  
  
I smile and walk over to Rin, take her in my arms and put her on top of my shoulder and hear her giggle. I start to walk back to the castle with Jaken at my heels. I know that Rin knows that I care for her and I'm proud to be the only one that does, even if I don't show it through my cold fascade.  
  
~Rin I promise to take care of you~  
  
It's done! Did ya like it? Please review it took me three day to complete. Thanks see ya!  
Blue Vixen 


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